so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
