I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Someone shattered a urinal.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
