Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
