You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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