Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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