Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
