Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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