i permit you to call me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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