I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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