Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
