i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
