do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
