Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize