i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
