We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
