she was so not down for the gang bang
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
