I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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