you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
