Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
