I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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