i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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