Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
