Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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