he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
