How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
