i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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