Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
