It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
