I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
