Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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