Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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