I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
