Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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