New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
