So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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