How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
