OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
