Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
