just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
