god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
