I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
