I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
