the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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