When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just want nice things and good sex
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
