my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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