we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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