I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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