the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
