alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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