D3 body, D1 cock
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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