I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
