i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
