Just cropdusted the office
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
