i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There r osticjed everywhere
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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