why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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