whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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