Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
