I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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