So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just pee around me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
