planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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