everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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