I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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